200 Instagram Captions for Tarot Readers

Your captions aren’t readings. Stop giving 5 of those away a week for nothing.

That’s the shape of this business and there’s no getting around it. Most of your followers followed for a free daily card, they’ll take one every morning for 3 years, and they will never pay you a penny. Which is fine. Your Instagram is a shop window.

But a shop window needs a door in it somewhere, and most tarot accounts are 400 posts of beautiful free cards with no way in. The caption is the door.

Below are 200 captions that show them what they are missing out on.

(Take them. Add your own spread.)

How to Write a Tarot Caption

Start by working out who a post is for. Tarot accounts run 2 audiences in 1 feed: the 3000 people collecting a free card every morning, and the 6 who have been circling a booking since spring. A caption can serve either of them but it cannot serve both. 

Give this a go instead:

The translation test. “The Tower fell out of the deck today” is shop talk, and shop talk is for other readers. Translate every card into the situation somebody is sitting with this week.

Example: The Tower is the card everyone fears. I get it. It’s about destruction and an end to an era. But look at it this way, it takes courage to let things fall away. And when we do we get to build something newer, better. So ask yourself, “What are you not letting go of?”. Same card, but now it’s about her.

The comments rule. Whatever you invite in the caption is exactly what lands in your inbox. “Comment your question below” reliably produces 40 people disclosing the worst thing in their lives and expecting a free answer, and then you either work for nothing or look unkind. Ask for something smaller and specific instead. Which pile. Yes or no. One word for how the week’s going. You’ll get more comments, better ones, and nobody arrives at your DMs already disappointed.

And one more reminder in case you hadn’t caught on yet. Your daily pull is for her, not about you.

Dark Tarot Captions

• Somebody messaged at 2am and I answered at 7. That’s the honest turnaround.
• The card everybody dreads came up 3 times in a fortnight.
• She asked the question she’d been avoiding since March.
• 40 minutes of this reading was silence and she needed all of it.
• The difficult cards are the ones people book for. Nobody books for The Sun.
• She cried, we finished, and she rebooked for 6 weeks’ time.
• No reading has ever gone badly because I told somebody the truth kindly.
• The reversal changed the whole spread and I said so out loud.
• She’d had 3 readings elsewhere that all told her what she wanted.
• 4 of this week’s 9 readings were about somebody who has died.
• I read at night because that’s when the hard questions arrive.
• Some spreads take 90 minutes. This was one of them.
• She wanted permission to stop hoping. That took the whole hour.
• 2 people this month asked the same question about the same person.
• I tell people the truth and then I stay on the call while it lands.
• The card she pulled was the one she’d been dreaming about. It happens.
• 9 of swords, and we spent the session on sleep rather than fortune.
• She booked after 8 months of following. That’s a normal timeline.
• I don’t read on the phone for the heavy ones. Video or nothing.
• Told somebody it was a no last week. She thanked me for it.

Witchy Tarot Captions

• Read on the new moon because I’ve done it that way for 11 years.
• Salt, smoke, and 78 cards. That’s the whole setup.
• This deck has not been out of the house since 2019.
• My grandmother read for the whole street. I read for 4 counties.
• 4 minutes between clients and all of it spent on the deck.
• Started reading in 2006, when it was distinctly unfashionable.
• I light a candle before every reading. It isn’t decoration.
• The circle gets opened and closed properly. Every time.
• A client asked if I cast alongside readings. Sometimes, if she asks.
• Herbs on the table today because the question needed them.
• Sabbat readings book out 6 weeks ahead. Every year.
• My first deck was borrowed and I still have it, 19 years later.
• Read for a coven of 9 last weekend. Best 4 hours of my month.
• The moon phase is in my notes for every client. It matters to some.
• Trained under somebody who trained under her grandmother.
• I don’t read on Sundays. Never have. Ask me why sometime.
• The cloth was my mother’s. It has been under every reading since 2011.
• I read professionally on Thursdays and cook badly the rest of the week.
• Somebody asked whether the deck is blessed. It’s used, which is better.
• The ritual is the work. The cards are the vocabulary.

Cozy Tarot Captions

• The kettle goes on before the deck comes out. Every session, 6 years.
• She logged on in a dressing gown and that is actively encouraged.
• The hour is hers. I say almost nothing for the first 10 minutes.
• The cat sat on the spread again. He’s in most of my photos.
• Nobody has to be frightened of this. It’s a conversation.
• Booked on a Sunday for a wet Tuesday. Best kind of appointment.
• She cried and I waited. That’s included in the hour.
• No incense unless you want it. Genuinely, just say.
• 3 clients this week booked because they needed somewhere kind to think.
• I read by lamp light because overheads are horrible on video.
• She’s booked the same slot every 3 months for 2 years.
• A reading and a cup of tea, and nothing more dramatic than that.
• You can ask the same question twice. People do and it’s fine.
• Lamp on, overhead off, and nothing designed to unsettle anybody.
• Somebody asked whether I’d judge her. I have never once judged anybody.
• The recording arrives within 2 hours so she can listen again.
• 20 minutes of chat before we touched a card. She needed that first.
• Nothing about this hour is designed to unsettle you.
• She said it felt like talking to a sensible friend. Best review going.
• Wet Sunday, 4 readings booked, and the kettle on all afternoon.

Cosmic Tarot Captions

• Her chart is printed and on the table before she logs on.
• Her Saturn return started in March and the spread knew it.
• Read with the transits open on the other screen.
• New moon intention readings, then a check-in 6 months later.
• Eclipse season fills 3 weeks ahead. It happened again last month.
• Her rising sign changed how I read the whole spread.
• 12 months of cards for the year ahead. Takes 2 hours.
• Somebody blamed Mercury. I checked. It wasn’t retrograde.
• The chart says the weather. The cards say what to wear.
• Solar return reading on her birthday. She’s done it 4 years running.
• I own an ephemeris and use it more than the deck some weeks.
• The 12th house came up again. It always does at this time of year.
• 8 out of 10 clients are really asking when, not whether.
• Year-ahead readings take 2 hours and cover 12 months, not 7 days.
• She wanted a date. I gave her a window and explained why.
• Cards, chart, and something practical to do on Monday.
• She’s had 4 readings over 3 years. The pattern is the useful bit.
• Booked in for her Jupiter return, which is a lovely reason to book.
• 3 clients this month asked about the same transit.
• Nobody in this practice blames the planets for anything.

Shadow Work Tarot Captions

• She came for a yes and got a question instead. Harder, better.
• Shadow work sessions run 90 minutes because they have to.
• The uncomfortable card is usually the useful one. Every time.
• 6 sessions over a year, and the last one was the breakthrough.
• Not every reading feels good. This one didn’t and she’s glad.
• I don’t do this work with somebody I’ve never read for before.
• She’d been circling the same pattern for 4 years.
• Journal prompts go out after the session. She does the actual work.
• The card was a mirror, not a map, and I said so.
• She asked whether this work gets easier. It gets clearer instead.
• We spent 20 minutes on a card she wanted to skip past.
• Shadow work is honesty with a deck for structure. That’s all it is.
• She recognized her mother in the reading. That happens a great deal.
• This isn’t therapy and I’ll say so in the first 5 minutes.
• What she’d been dreading saying turned out to be entirely common.
• 3 sessions before she’d say the real question out loud.
• Slow work. Nobody should be rushing through it.
• The parts we bury tend to turn up in the spread anyway.
• She stayed with the discomfort for a full minute. That’s the skill.
• Growth isn’t in the pretty cards. It never has been.

Arcana Tarot Captions

• Pulled The Tower this morning? The thing you already suspect is the thing.
• If you drew Death today, nobody is dying. Something is ending and you know what.
• The Hermit, for anybody who’s been avoiding a conversation this week.
• 3 Cups cards in a row. The reading was about her friendships.
• The Star today means the worst of it is behind you. Not gone. Behind.
• Swords all over your pull? It’s a thinking problem, not a doing one.
• If The Empress turned up for you today, the instruction is rest, not effort.
• Pentacles for a woman deciding whether to leave a stable job.
• The Fool for somebody 4 weeks into a completely new life.
• 22 Major Arcana cards and she pulled 5 of them in one spread.
• The Moon today means you haven’t got enough information yet. Wait a week.
• Justice, 2 days before a court date she hadn’t mentioned.
• The Wheel for a client whose year has changed 3 times already.
• A court card in your pull is usually a person. You’ll know exactly who.
• The High Priestess today: you already know. Stop asking other people.
• Wands for a woman with too many projects and no time.
• Strength today isn’t about pushing through. It’s about not reacting.
• The World, and she’d genuinely finished something. Rare and lovely.
• The Hierophant for somebody deciding about a family expectation.
• Keep pulling the same 4 cards? That isn’t the deck being lazy. That’s information.

Practical Tarot Captions

• No health predictions here. That’s a doctor’s job and I’ll say so.
• I won’t tell you when somebody dies. Not for any price.
• She asked if it was decided already. Nothing on this table decides anything.
• 40 minutes, £45, recorded, and the price is on the page.
• Nobody here will tell you that you’re cursed. Ever, for any money.
• She books twice a year. I’ve told her that’s plenty.
• A skeptic booked last month and got something useful anyway.
• 3 people this month wanted the same impossible thing. I offered them a better question.
• Change the question from what will happen to what to do, and it works.
• The disclaimer is the first thing on my booking page, deliberately.
• I make exactly 1 claim about what this does, and it’s a modest one.
• She left with a next step rather than a prophecy.
• I’ve turned down 3 bookings this year. Wrong fit, and I said so.
• Nobody needs 6 readings about the same man. I’ll tell you that free.
• No upsells. There’s 1 service and it costs what it says.
• 78 pictures and a structured conversation. That’s the mechanism.
• If you’re in crisis, please talk to somebody qualified. I’ll say it kindly.
• She had 1 decision to make and it took 22 minutes.
• She could have got there alone. I just made it faster.
• The cards ask. You answer. That’s the actual mechanism.

Behind the Scenes Tarot Captions

• Writing up notes for 4 readings. Takes longer than the readings.
• Editing a recording at 11pm so it lands before she wakes up.
• 78 cards laid out on the floor learning a new deck properly.
• Rewriting my booking page for the 5th time this year.
• Reading for myself and ignoring the answer. As usual.
• Studying, still, 19 years in. There’s always another book.
• The invoicing, the tax return, the 40 emails. Nobody photographs this.
• Cleansing decks on a Sunday with the windows open.
• Learning a spread badly before I ever use it with a client.
• Supervision with another reader, because this work needs it.
• Quiet month here too. January is always thin.
• Sat with a heavy reading for an hour afterward. That happens.
• Setting the table, lighting the candle, 10 minutes before she logs on.
• My notebook has 6 years of spreads in it. I still refer back.
• Prepping 3 readings today and eating lunch standing up.
• The unglamorous half: scheduling, refunds, and time zones.
• Practicing a new deck on friends for 2 months before charging.
• The inbox never quite empties. 20-odd sitting there most Fridays.
• Every calm reading you see had an hour of preparation behind it.
• Reading the room before the cards. Most of the skill is that.

Funny Tarot Captions

• 3 readings, same man, and I’m running out of new ways to say it.
• The Tower. Everybody panics. Sit down, nobody is dying.
• A no is still an answer and you’re paying me for answers.
• Somebody genuinely asked me to find her lost bank card.
• Third week running, same question. The cards have not changed their mind.
• 2 people have asked about the lottery. Both were joking. Probably.
• The deck is blunt. I’m the polite one in this arrangement.
• She booked at 12:40am. I read it Friday. She survived the wait.
• She asked me to ignore the reversals. I did not ignore the reversals.
• Booked 3 times in 5 weeks. We should probably talk about that.
• Pulled my own worst card on Tuesday and had to sit with it.
• 9 out of 10 first questions are about the same subject. You know the one.
• 3 clients this month left with a task rather than a prediction.
• She pulled the loveliest card in the deck and still has to ring her sister.
• Reshuffling until you get a nicer card is not a technique.
• Your ex is still your ex. Shall we move on?
• 11 comments about the cloth on the table. None about the reading.
• I don’t know what he’s thinking. Neither does he, frankly.
• The cards said no. I checked twice. Still no.
• Nobody’s aura is being read here. I’ve never seen one.

Booking Tarot Captions

• 3 slots left this month, all evenings.
• Bookings open Sunday at 8pm for the following fortnight.
• 45 minutes, recorded, £45, and the link is in my bio.
• Message me your question first. I’ll say honestly if I can help.
• 40 names on the list and it moves every fortnight.
• Fully booked until October. Sorry, and thank you.
• Written readings if video makes you nervous. Same price, same care.
• New client slots on Tuesdays. Existing clients get first refusal.
• No, you don’t have to know what to ask. We’ll work it out.
• 2 cancellations this morning if anybody wants them.
• Yearly readings booking now for January. They go fast.
• Gift vouchers exist. People buy them for their sisters, mostly.
• First reading runs 15 minutes longer. That’s deliberate, not an upsell.
• The full price list is on the booking page. Nothing is hidden.
• If money is the barrier, message me. I keep 2 sliding-scale slots.
• The form takes 3 minutes and asks for 1 question.
• Booked out 5 weeks. Join the list and I’ll message when it moves.
• Message me and say you’re unsure. I’ll answer honestly.
• I read on Thursdays and Fridays only. That’s the whole diary.
• Everybody waits 6 months and then wishes they’d booked in March.

Your name is what she saves in her notes app at 2am. Your slogan told her she could ask you the scary thing. This is the free card she takes every morning for 8 months, until one Thursday she finally sends the message.

Related: Mystical Tarot Business Names

Still deciding on your tarot business’s name? Browse 100 Mystical Tarot Business Names, organized by style.

Related: Dark Tarot Reader Slogans and Taglines

Looking for a tagline to go with your name? See the full 200+ Dark Tarot Reader Slogans and Taglines.

Looking for caption ideas beyond tarot? Browse the full 200+ Instagram Captions for Women-Owned Businesses hub.

Wendy Founder & Chief Writer of Her Cozy Side Hustle

Wendy started a blog in 2022 while working a full-time job. Two million readers later, she now writes about starting a blog, growing it with SEO, and making it pay for itself. She will argue that playing Animal Crossing still counts as research.

See Full Bio